musings from the pink chair

someone at my dance class said i was “hot in a lois lane sort of way.”

so basically, i can retire now, right?

i mean, isn’t it generally the goal of every female journalist to be lois lane? she’s smart, independent, beautiful, successful, respected, and has a sweet job and a terrace apartment in metropolis.

…and, you know, occasionally gets to fly over the skyline with superman.

someone deleted my fracking article! obviously a person who has no idea about the incredible cultural significance of 30 rock.

i just wrote my first wikipedia article!

about northrax.

because one time the newsroom smelled like maple syrup, so i was like, “omigod! northrax! nooooo!” except NOBODY GOT IT despite the fact that they all claim to be 30 rock fans, so i went to look for a wikipedia article to show them all, and THERE WASN’T ONE.

problem, solution. that’s me, always here to help when you need an explanation of an obscure pop culture reference.

my mom and i went to the little zoo at the natural science center today. it’s no asheboro, obviously, but they have tigers and wolves and goats and peacocks and such, so it’s pretty lovely if you’re not in the mood to hike around the big zoo. we went to visit the wallabies, who have a strange habitat because you’re actually allowed to go in and interact with them. which may or may not be a good idea:

mom: didn’t the wallabies bite somebody a little while back? i heard something about that.

zookeeper: yeah, that’s why the exhibit was closed for several months. but we just reopened like five or six days ago, and they haven’t bitten anyone yet. so i think it’s fine.

…reassuring. NAUGHTY wallabies! further proving my assertion that kangaroos (and kangaroo-like creatures) are really not all they’re cracked up to be.

pho is delicious. and an excellent soup for summer.

however, it’s made with super-thin slices of succulent beef. and i no longer eat meat, so i needed a vegetable-only version that didn’t lose all the flavor. this is that. i started with this recipe and added some additional stuff from my spice cabinet to flavor it up a bit.

fabulous pho (minus the meat)

• 64 ounces low- or no-sodium vegetable broth (at least — i recommend doubling the broth if you want it to be soupy rather than stew-like)
• one large yellow or white onion (not sweet)
• one or two carrots
• cinnamon stick
• ~2 tablespoons grated ginger
• two or three whole cloves
• five or six garlic cloves, peeled and crushed
• ~1 teaspoon dried red pepper flakes
• ~1 teaspoon coriander seeds
• 3-4 tablespoons low-sodium soy sauce
• 3-4 tablespoons rice wine vinegar
• big bunch of green onions/scallions, chopped
• big bunch of fresh cilantro
• a few sprigs of basil
• a few springs of mint
• ~2 cups bean sprouts
• ~2 cups sliced mushrooms (i use baby bella or white, but anything would be good)
• half pound rice noodles (also called “rice sticks.” i like the really, really thin ones; but any width would work)
• one or two limes, cut into wedges
• OPTIONAL: fried tofu for protein, one star anise for the broth (both only if you like them — i personally can’t stand anise)

chop the onion and carrot into a few large pieces. dump them into a stock pot along with the cinnamon stick, ginger, cloves, coriander, and anise if you’re using it. dry-roast over medium heat, stirring constantly, just until spices start to become fragrant. then add the vegetable broth, garlic, red pepper flakes, soy sauce, vinegar, half the cilantro, half the basil, and half the mint. bring to a boil and let it simmer, covered, 45 minutes to an hour. (use that time to wash and chop the mushrooms, prepare the tofu, etc etc etc.)

after the hour or so you’ve let it simmer, strain out all the stuff you just added to the broth and discard. add the rice noodles to the broth, and let it simmer for as long as the package directs (mine said three minutes). just before serving, add the green onions, mushrooms, bean sprouts, tofu if you’re using it, and the rest of the cilantro, basil, and mint. ladle into big bowls and serve with a couple wedges of lime (crucial).

[photo courtesy the kitchn]

my jazz dance teacher talks exactly like li’l c. now, for those of you who don’t know who li’l c is, he’s a hiphop choreographer and judge on so you think you can dance. and the way he talks…is incomprehensible and filled with long, misused words and phrases, but yet somehow still manages to be insightful. basically, just watch this video.

so. my jazz teacher talks in those same weirdly specific and nonsensical phrases, and it cracks. me. up. i need to somehow share the hilarity/awesomeness, so here is a small archive of delightful comments from him:

“be a school of fish! i want you all to get caught up in the gulf stream of excellence.”

“come here, my baby giraffe, my little antelope. you have those long raptor legs and arms, a little head, and lips like a russian singer. use it.” (a russian singer? what does that even mean?!)

“you have a nine hundred pound black man inside of that tiny little ten pound body. and his name is…big daddy…something.”

“you don’t have any brothers, do you? you dance like you don’t have any brothers.”

“ballet is dead. jazz is dead. tap is dead. there is just this.”

“if you keep dancing it like a ballerina, i’m going to sew your pointe shoes to your feet and make you dance swan lake every day for the rest of your life.”

“épaulement was invented for ugly dancers. you are not ugly. you’re pretty. i know because i’m pretty and i’ve seen you at the meetings.”

yeah, so if you’re in atlanta and you dance, you should pretty much come to this class.

tomatoes + green onion + fresh cilantro + red pepper + wine vinegar + salt + cayenne pepper + garlic + mini food processor = best salsa ever. and it takes about 30 seconds to make. my stomach is currently stuffed to capacity with this goodness.

my mom says there are no fat people at duke.

and, when i think about it, she’s kind of right. i mean, there are, obviously. but the percentage of overweight people at duke compared to the percentage of overweight people in the general population…there’s NO comparison. relatively speaking, there ARE no fat people at duke.

interesting socioeconomic observation, that.

my family stayed with me in atlanta this weekend, and my dad made shrimp. i love shrimp.

except when i pulled out the leftovers for dinner the other night, i picked one up in my hand and felt like throwing up. i had a sudden, horrible realization: i had to rip off its poor little legs and tail and peel off its skin before i could munch on its tiny, lifeless body. i told myself i was being ridiculous and ate one. but i felt even worse and couldn’t have any more. i was completely disgusted and upset.

i’ve eaten fish and meat my whole life. and while i try to buy free-range, humane, environmentally-friendly meats, i never felt the need to become a vegetarian until that moment. why did i have such a strong, visceral reaction all of a sudden? i haven’t been reading any literature, watching any documentaries, listening to any vegetarian friends. it’s like a switch flipped in my brain.

i have no idea what’s going on, psychologically. but i do know that at the moment, the very idea of eating meat, poultry, or fish makes my skin crawl and my stomach turn. so i’m not doing it anymore.

i’m dancing in a a show this weekend. this means lots of things: ridiculous dressing room photos, eating in costume (for SHAME!), warming up in the theater, lamenting the stage floor/lack of a spotting light/awful sight lines, suddenly being able to bust out perfect triple pirouettes, feeling the energy of the audience, and, of course, STAGE MAKEUP.

i am terrible at applying makeup. probably because my mom never wears any (she’s so pretty), so i didn’t have anyone to watch growing up. but yeah. the only thing that takes me longer than applying eyeliner (very imperfectly, i might add) is getting it off. and it never, EVER comes completely off. so even after i rub my eyes raw and burn them with soap and water trying to make it all go away, you can still discern it the next day. probably because i don’t ever wear eyeliner, so even the tiniest smudge of black is really obvious. (and smudged it always is.)

all this is to say that we just had a dress rehearsal, so if at work tomorrow you can’t tell if it’s me or a raccoon at my desk, i’d just like you to know that, sadly, it’s me. (i mean, probably. no guarantees. there were zebras and elephants in the parking deck that one time, so i won’t rule out a raccoon in the newsroom). but yes. me. wearing smudged eyeliner that just. won’t. come. off.

martha stewart is kind of a genius.

yes, about half of what she does is insane. the other half, however, is brilliant. little tiny things that make life much more pleasant.

i recently reorganized all my drawers thanks to a tip i read in her magazine. she said to stack your clothes sort of on their ends rather than flat, because then you can see everything you own instead of digging through piles to get to what you want. i can’t believe i never thought of that.

anyway, now my drawers are hyper-organized. i particularly like my t-shirt drawer:

btw, that’s not even all of the t-shirts i own. i know, i know. but it’s just because 90% of them are free ones from duke. so THAT’s where all that tuition money goes.